Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Fair use of the day

Welcome to Night Vale is a podcast in the vein of Lovecraftian homage/Cabin in the Woods-style absurdist horror.  It's enjoyable for plenty of other reasons, but a number of episodes also have ads from "sponsors" who actually exist ... but who only advertise this way in Night Vale.

Step into your nearest Subway restaurant today, and try their new 6-inch mashed potato sub! Top it with a delicious assortment of fresh vegetables, like french fries and Nutella! They'll even toast or poach it for you! There are several Subway locations in Night Vale, all easily accessible through witchcraft and chanting. And between now and November 30, buy nine reverse colonics and get a free 40-ounce soda or freshly baked tobacco cookie! Subway: Devour Your Own Empty Heart!
And now, a message from our sponsors:

"I took a walk on the cool sand dunes, brittle grass overgrown, and above me in the night sky, above me, I saw. Bitter taste of unripe peaches, and a smell I could not place, nor could I escape. I remembered other times that I could not escape. I remembered other smells. The moon slunk like a wounded animal. The world spun like it had lost control. Concentrate only on breathing, and let go of ideas you had about nutrition and alarm clocks. I took a walk on the cool sand dunes, brittle grass overgrown, and above me, in the night sky above me, I saw."

This message was brought to you by Coca-Cola.
Come for the ads, stay for the hooded figures and the hovering cat. But don't go in the dog park. Don't even think about the dog park.

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